|First appearance||Conker's Bad Fur Day|
|Species||Robotic teddy bears|
|Eye color||Black (Bad Fur Day)|
Yellow (Live & Reloaded)
The Tediz are a race of robotic teddy bears, and are the main enemies of the Conker series, starting with Conker's Bad Fur Day. Tediz resemble normal teddy bears, but have stitches in various parts of their body.
The Tediz are a somewhat obvious parody of the Nazis as they have a similar name, speak in a German-based accent, and have swastika-based symbols all over their base (a T in a white circle surrounded by red). Their designer, Kriplespac, also has a German-based accent.
Conker's Bad Fur Day
The exact origin of the Tediz is unknown, but an earlier race was first used in the Milk Wars 300 years ago. They had numerous defects, notably their composition out of highly-flammable material, and their eyes frequently fell out.
During the events of Bad Fur Day, the Tediz were re-commissioned by Professor Von Kriplespac. Their redesign gave them more durability. Conker would eventually join the Squirrel High Command in the It's War chapter and fight the Tediz. He was forced to infiltrate their base, which he eventually self-destructed; this killed hundreds in the process.
In the ECTS prototype of Bad Fur Day, the Tediz' inspiration from Nazis are more obvious. A deleted scene from It's War showed two Tedi Surgeons experiment on a living squirrel soldier; this behavior is directly mirrored by what concentration camp personnel did to their prisoners. Another deleted scene, from the Multi game Total War, showed a Tedi instructor resembling Adolf Hitler. A podium was included, and the cutscene ended with a salute. Additionally, the mini-game's original name was "Blitzkrieg", named after the eponymous war strategy used by the Nazis.
Conker: Live & Reloaded
Despite Kriplespac's death in the Heist chapter, the Tediz continued their war against the SHC. This war is chronicled in the Multiplayer mode of Conker: Live & Reloaded, where players can decide whether to side with the Tediz or the SHC.
The Tediz had a significant design change, most notably their less artificial appearance. Other differences include: their big yellow eyes, their teeth. Despite being robots, the Tediz now bleed out blood upon defeat (they previously bled stuffing). The stitches on their skin is also less haphazard, although is still visible. They also wear green military outfits, including a helmet.
The Tediz are one of the main characters of the Multiplayer mode. They are one of the playable races of Chapter X. In Beach Dead, they are under the command of Kriplespac, to try and prevent the Squirrel High Command from entering their base. In Fortress Deux, they try to capture the flag of the Squirrel High Command. Lastly, in Castle Von Tedistein, they attempt to link the power lines to their time machine to introduce the Machine Tediz.
Conker's Big Reunion
Despite their previous defeats, the Tediz return in Conker's Big Reunion, as the main antagonists. Like Conker, their Bad Fur Day appearance was instated, but they retain their Nazi-inspired personality from Live & Reloaded.
The Tediz have assembled a number of buildings and businesses, including a secret lab, a logging camp, and a brewery. They are quite intent on ruining Conker's reunion, as they have assaulted Conker, stole his Cash, and attempted to demolish The Cock and Plucker with a supply of explosives.
There are numerous types of Tediz. Most of them only appear in the It's War chapter.
- Grunt: Grunts are the main infantry. As their name implies, they are the grunts of the Tediz. They carry either a gun or a spear to respectively shoot or stab a character. The Tediz received a complete military uniform in Live & Reloaded; they are even playable characters its Multiplayer mode.
- Tedi Surgeon: Tedi Surgeons work in the scientific division of the Tediz army. As their name implies, they are surgeons, dressed in surgical gear and spattered with chemicals and blood. Tedi Surgeons use scalpels and syringes for weapons.
- Submarine Tedi: Submarine Tediz are Tediz who pilot Submarines. They were fought in the lair of the Little Girl and The Experiment, and would fire Missiles at Conker. Tediz were only revealed as the Submarine pilots in Live & Reloaded.
- Big Boss Tedi: A mini-boss who rapid fires at Conker from a Chain Gun.
- The Experiment: The Experiment is a massive, spider-legged Tedi controlled by a Little Girl, who sits as a puppet on his right hand. The Experiment has a blade saw on his other hand..
- Machine Tediz: Machine Tediz are red-armored cyborgs who only appear in the New War of the multiplayer mode of Live & Reloaded. They replace the Grunt Tediz from 200 years earlier.
- Chainsaw Tediz: These Tediz first appear in Conker's Big Reunion, where they wear a potato sack mask and wield a Chainsaw.
- Tediz Abomination: Another new Tedi subspecies from Big Reunion—this Tedi has grown to gargantuan size thanks due to an unknown transformative substance. Alterations to the standard Tedi form include multiple fungal growths, natural armor and an enlarged pair of gonads.
Some have debated over the singular form of Tediz being "Tedi". This is because the plural "Tediz" used a lot more often; the "z" of Tediz makes an "s" sound. "Tediz" is an obvious misspelling of "teddies", and "Tedi" is of "teddy".
Tedi is the actual singular form, which can be proved from two cases. The first case is in earlier versions of Bad Fur Day, where Rodent says "Tedizs everywhere" in the chapter It's War; this means that "Tediz" was once singular and plural. This was grammatically fixed to "Tediz everywhere!" in the retail release, thus changing "Tedi" as the singular.
The second instance is in the multiplayer missions of Live & Reloaded, where characters use the singular form "Tedi", such as when a character says "Tedi Machine Charged Up" in Castle Von Tedistein.
- In the early trailer of Conker: Live & Uncut, a female Tedi can be spotted, meaning that the Tediz in the army are actually male, but for some reason the female doesn't get into the final game.
- In the Casualty Dept. of the It's War chapter in Live & Reloaded, a Tedi based on its Bad Fur Day design can be found in a container. It is possibly based on one of the models from Conker: Live & Uncut because of its claws, just like the ones from the Live & Uncut trailer.