The Weasel Mafia is led by Don Weaso, and the only other known members are in the quartet "Wise Guys" branch: Frankie, Chicho, Paulie, and Ali. Don Weaso is strict and demanding of them, and he physically beats and abuses them if they do not meet his standards.
The Wise Guys of the Weasel Mafia all look similar to one another. All of them have a black mask over their eyes, of which resembles that of a burglar's. In Bad Fur Day, the Wise Guys are easily distinguishable from color of their striped sweater. Frankie's is blue-striped, Chicho's is green-striped, Paulie's is red-striped, and Ali's is yellow-striped.
In Conker: Live & Reloaded, all four of the Wise Guys wore red-striped sweaters like Paulie. Each one's sweater has a different pattern, and the members are only distinguishable from such. Additionally, the four members also wore blue pants and fingerless gloves.
In the Uga Buga chapter, a Bouncer caught Conker running off with Cash. He is sent to the Weasel Mafia's headquarters to meet Don Weaso, the mafia's leader. Don Weaso claims that one of the members was disrespectful to him. He said it could've been Frankie or Chicho but ultimately knew it was Paulie, of whom he beat to death with a Baseball Bat.
Don Weaso later appeared in the Heist chapter, but the Weasel Mafia did not. It is unknown what has happened all of them since.
Even though the Weasel Mafia are not Heist chapter, they are the main characters of the eponymous mini-game in Bad Fur Day's Multi mode.
Up to four players can play this mini-game, and each player can select from one of the Wise Guys. Each Wise Guy has an associated color, based on their sweater stripe's color. Their codenames are based on their associated color: Mr. Blue (Frankie), Mr. Green (Chicho), Mr. Red (Paulie), and Mr. Yellow (Ali). Their names are a direct reference to the film, Resevoir Dogs.
Don Weaso instructs each Wise Guy to steal bags of Cash and put them into their respective safe. Each safe has its own color, which corresponds to each Wise Guy's associated color. The first Wise Guy to put three cash bags in his vault wins. Don Weaso sends the others to "sleep with the fishes"; he attaches their feet to cement blocks and sends them underwater to drown.
Ali is only mentioned by name in the closing cutscene of Heist, if the player loses the mini-game. He is the only Wise Guy to not be mentioned by name in the Conker's adventure.
The Wise Guys can be unlocked as playable characters on every Deathmatch map if the player enters "CHINDITVICTORY" from the Cheats menu.
- Why me?
- I'm swimming with the fishes
- It didn't have to happen like this
- This is the end
- You is a dead motherfucker
- Night night, motherfucker
- Cut you up good and proper
- Cut you up good, cocksucker
- Fucking sprayed his ass everywhere
- Lucky shot, fucker
- Right between the eyes
- Don't lose your head
- Look at the brains
- Dental record time
- Chill out, daddy-o
- Slice and dice
- Go to fuck
- Lock and load
- Ooh, heavy weapon
- Big motherfucker
- Got the dough, I'm gonna blow
- Give me some more dough
- Give me the money, you cocksucker
- I've got the green, you ain't
- I'm outta here
- Fuck fuck fuck